Thursday, August 11, 2011

Predictions for the 2011 Missouri Tigers


Miami of Ohio- Win. This one shouldn't be close. James Franklin has a nice outing in his first start tossing two td's. Kendial Lawrence and Devion Moore also add rushing touchdowns. Jimmy Costello or whoever the backup is should be taking snaps by the fourth quarter and Mizzou students will be drinking in celebration by 2:00 p.m.

Score Prediction: Missouri 45 Miami(OH)10

Uniform Prediction: Gold pants! Hell it's gold rush.

Attendance Prediction: 60,098

Random Prediction: Sheldon Richardson will record a sack or a huge tackle for loss and powermizzou will erupt!


at Arizona State- Win. Missouri controls the game but struggles offensively. James Franklin throws two picks but runs and throws for a TD in route to a solid victory.

Score Prediction- Missouri 24 Arizona State 13

Uniform Prediction- All whites. It is going to be HOT in that desert.

Attendance Prediction- Arizona St. rarely sells out home games but they are unavailing new uni's and playing on a friday night on national tv. Lets go with 70,003

Random Prediction: Despite the solid win e will all be concerned with the QB position and will say "if we play like this at OU we will get whitewashed."


Western Illinois- Win. Huge stats day for James Franklin and the running game....In the first half at least. Most starters are sitting sipping G3 midway through the 3rd quarter.

Score Prediction: Missouri 52 Western Illinois 7

Uniform Prediction: All blacks again

Attendance Predcition: 57,482. Fans who weren't at the game complain about this number.

Random Prediction: T.J. Moe makes 10 receptions in this game giving him 25 through the first 3 games. Jaquies Smith earns two personal foul penalties.


at Oklahoma- Loss. Missouri jumps to early lead but OU forces two first half turnovers and never looks back. Defense looks a little shaky in this game and our offense can't get a whole lot going.

Score Prediction: Oklahoma 34 Missouri 14

Uniform Prediction: White jerseys with gold pants, typically a winning uniform combo.

Attendance Prediction: 80, whatever the hell thousand. Sellout. Lots of people wearing crimson and sporting jorts and mullets.

Random Prediction: powermizzou meltdown following loss. "This team is done."

at Kansas State- Win. Grandpa Snyder, using football tactics from the 1940's to try to squeeze wins out of a talentless squad but is overpowered by Missouri on this day. Franklin and the offense get back on track and Mizzou's defense holds Bryce Brown to 49 yards rushing. Snyder calls timeouts and multiple onside kicks to make the score look better than it was.

Score Prediction: Missouri 41 Kansas State 21

Uniform Prediction: Back to all whites. Boring.

Attendance Prediction: 43,450 people sitting in a stadium that smells bad.

Random Prediction: Kevin Kietzman will say that K-St had this game in their grasp all along had it not been for State turning the ball over 5 times because that will never happen again.


Iowa State (homecoming) Win. Iowa State comes in dressed like USC again except slow, nonathletic and going nowhere on offense. Missouri keeps the ball on the ground as Franklin, Josey and Lawrence all have rushing td's.

Score Prediction: Missouri 35 Iowa Sate 13

Uniform Prediction: Black jerseys, gold pants. Hey it's homecoming.

Attendance Prediction: 71,000. SOLD OUT.

Random Prediction: a pundit for ESPN will pick Iowa St to win this game and Mizzou fans will want him dead. Brad Pitt attends the game.


Oklahoma State- Win. The Cowboys come in undefeated but leave with a heartbreaking loss. James Franklin lights it up through the air and the running game supplements the effort. Oklahoma State's vaunting passing attack is thwarted by constant pressure from Mizzou's defense as well as several key turnovers. Mizzou avenges 2008 loss at home to this squad.

Score Prediction: Missouri 28 Oklahoma State 20.

Uniform Prediction: All black uni's.

Attendance Prediction: 71,000 sellout #2!

Random Prediction: Missouri will only be ranked around 16th by this point with several lesser 1 loss teams ahead of them. College Gameday almost came to COMO again, but shunned us for a random S.E.C. game where the final score winds up 7-3.


at Texas A&M- Loss. The Aggies offense explodes and avenges their loss to Mizzou in 2010. Franklin has a rough go of it throwing multiple picks and 0 touchdowns. Jeff Fuller lights up our secondary and has a huge game.

Score Prediction: Texas A&M 27 Missouri 14.

Uniform Predictions: White jerseys, black pants. We look cool despite the loss.

Attendance Prediction: 70,000 but a few smatterings of empty seats in upper corners.

Random Prediction: A&M fans have signs saying "we don't need you Texas!"


at Baylor- Loss. Baylor is only .500 by this point but yet another lackadaisical performance against the Bears leads to our second straight loss in the state of Texas. Griffin is too much as our offense once again fails to achieve any key plays through the air.

Score Prediction: Baylor 23 Missouri 20.

Uniform Prediction: All white.

Attendance Prediction: 25,678, with only about half of them caring.

Random Prediction: "This seasons over, pack it up folks!" will commonly be heard.


Texas- Win. The Hornz come in with two losses and leave with a third. Missouri's defense bucks up and forces Gilbert into key turnovers. James Franklin throws 3 td's in route to a Mizzou blowout win.

Score Prediction: Missouri 37 Texas 16.

Uniform Prediction: All gold. Just do it!

Attendance Prediction: 71,000 sellout #3! wait, no its deer season that weekend. Scratch that. 62,345 will be announced.

Random Prediction: A few dozen Mizzou students try to rush the field and are arrested. A few evade police intervention for so long that the fans take notice and begin cheering.


Texas Tech- Win. Tech is a beaten down squad by this point and Missouri is back on track. Mizzou gets it done on the ground and through the air on this day (Blaine Gabbert will not be at the helm so this prediction is valid). Tech leads early but the Tigers overtake them with ease.

Score Prediction: Missouri 42 Texas Tech 24.

Uniform Prediction: All black. It's the blackout game.

Attendance Prediction: The weather will be slighty bad and deer hunters will still be in the woods around campfires, drinking PBR and looking for bambi. 59,242.

Random Prediction: Bowl game rumors will begin to surface. Iowa State, who is 5-6 at this point will be rumored to be in a better game than us.

Kansas- Win. The Jayhawks come in with only two wins on the season but the KC media makes it seem like they are largely improved. Pinkel holds the team back from murdering the Beaks yet again.

Score Prediction: Missouri 35 Kansas 10.

Uniform Prediction: White jersey, black pants

Attendance Prediction: 61,012 fans mostly wearing the colors black or gold. KU fans muttering something about that basketball sport.

Random Prediction: A KU linebacker will say after the game "We're not scared of them, we can't wait to play em next year. We bringing the heat!"

So that gives us a total record of 9-3. Oklahoma State goes to the Cotton Bowl with the same record and Mizzou goes to the Holiday where they are beaten by a 10-2 Oregon team.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

2011 NFL Predictions

Well The lockout is over and it's time to buckle up the chin straps on the 2011 football season.

AFC

West

1. San Diego Chargers (11-5). They've already been handed the division by media outlets. Can they right all their wrongs from 2010?

2. Kansas City Chiefs (8-8). This Chiefs team may be better than a year ago, but will it show up in the record books? Brutal schedule could leave KC without a playoff birth.

3. Oakland Raiders (6-10). They went 8-8 in 2010 but lose their head coach, best corner and best lineman. Predicting the silver and black to take a step back in 2011 but improved quarterback play could help prove me wrong.

4. Denver Broncos (4-12). Changes abound in Denver. John Fox inherits a poor football team and must now deal with the "will Tebow start?" questions from day 1. Could be a long year in the Rocky Mountains.

South

1. Indianapolis Colts (10-6). If Peyton Manning returns from neck surgery then Indy should still be the team to beat in the South. Health in the backfield as well as the receiving corps will be the difference. 

2. Houston Texans (8-8). Will never predict them above 8-8 until they actually achieve it.

3. Jacksonville Jaguars (8-8) A franchise that is wallowing in mediocrity doesn't see the light of day just yet.

4. Tennessee Titans (5-11) New coach, new QB...Chris Johnson holding out. Long year in Nashville.

East

1. New England Patriots (13-3) The Pats are primed for yet another title run. Chad Ochocinco and Albert Haynesworth could contribute if they decide not to be malcontents.  

2. New York Jets (11-5). The NFL and ESPN won't allow the Jets to fall below 11 wins.

3. Buffalo Bills (7-9). Improvement coming, but not quite soon enough for Buffalo.

4. Miami Dolphins (6-10). They've made some nice additions but still appear to be at the bottom of this division.

North

1. Baltimore Ravens (12-4). This team is always 12-4.

2. Pittsburgh Steelers (10-6). Always tough but lose out ultimately to Baltimore this season.

3. Cleveland Browns (4-12). Still in the NFL's witness protection program.

4. Cincinnati Bengals (3-13). Disaster in Cincy.   Carson Palmer doesn't want to be there....Wait...No one wants to be there.

NFC

West

1. St. Louis Rams (9-7). The Rams finally get back to the top of the division on the arm of Sam Bradford.

2. Seattle Seahawks (7-9). 7 wins won't win the division this year.  

3. Arizona Cardinals (7-9). The Cards are on the upswing but will all their new pieces fit?

4. San Francisco 49ers (5-11). Alex Smith is still this team's quarterback...in 2011.

South

1. Atlanta Falcons (13-3). A lot of momentum for this franchise and may be the team to beat in the NFC in 2011.

2. Tampa Bay Bucs (10-6). Young, talented team makes playoffs after surprising 2010 campaign.

3. New Orleans Saints (8-8) injuries derail Saints as they fail to make playoffs.

4. Carolina Panthers (2-14). Yeah they are that bad.

East

1. Philadelphia Eagles (12-4). They got pretty much every free agent imaginable and return a great corps of talent.  

2. Dallas Cowboys (9-7). Not quite a playoff team but improved under Jason Garrett.

3. New York Giants (8-8). Fans start growing restless.

5. Washington Redskins (6-10). Currently a terrible franchise.

North

1. Green Bay Packers (13-3). Superbowl Champs...and they are healthy now.

2. Chicago Bears (9-7). Borderline playoff team. The bears are an every-other-year team so we will see what Cutler does in 2011.

3. Detroit Lions (8-8). a .500 record for the Lions!!

4. Minnesota Vikings (5-11). No Favre, but insert journeyman Donovan McNabb who doesn't have much left in the tank. Bad season.